and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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