like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
