I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize