we have pet lesbian snakes
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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