That's intense
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
We have so much sex to catch up on
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
