Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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