I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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