My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
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