Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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