He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
