In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
