Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
My liver just had a heart attack.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
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