Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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