hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
