So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i dont even know how to be here
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
