dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
vagina is talking i cant
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
