I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
