idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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