he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
