Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Randomize
