Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
