found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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