last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
