Are we in a gay sports bar?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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