Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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