Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
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We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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