I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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