Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
