If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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