Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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