I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
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