Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
