chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
