Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
her facebook's as public as her vagina
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I have post one night stand depression
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
