just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
