sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
