Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
