great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
