Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
They have beer where we have blood.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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