I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize