i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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