she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize