He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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