Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
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