maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize