garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
