There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
