Need sex. Gaining weight.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
