drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
