matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
