My nipple is on Facebook.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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