It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
