WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
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