i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
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