hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
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