ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
