you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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