I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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