1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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